Faffing

OH was playing golf so we were up/awake early.  I was going for a walk, then I wasn’t.  I was going in the garden, then I wasn’t.  I spent a couple of hours faffing and doing nothing much, unable to focus or concentrate on much.  No.1 had an appointment with consultant  at RM but appointment was delayed for around 90 minutes.  I felt I should have gone but JC was with her and was taking notes and asking questions.  

I did eventually go into the garden and did some weeding while listening to a podcast and it was a distraction for an hour or so.  S was coming for a coffee (although didn’t arrive until 12.45) so I came in for a shower and change.  She was very sweet and supportive and listened and there were lots of tears.  They are going in an Antarctic cruise tomorrow ( as you do?)

OH home from golf a late and had dinner (left overs)  instead of lunch - so I ate later (egg on toast).  No.1 phoned to report back on her appointment which gave some interesting information about potential drug trials in the US - due to the rarity of her condition, she may be a candidate?  It is still so unreal and carrying round the worry and concern and hope and love is so hard.  When your children are going through something (in the past it has mostly been No.2) my worry is magnified x 5 or more…….however I need to be strong.  Our mantra is ‘we can do this’, ‘one day at a time’ .