Life is a bowl of bird seed...

Well, here I am minding my own business trying to decide if it's worth turning round to eat this stuff, when there she is again gawking through the window with her one eyed monster known as 'camera'. If she wanted to be really nice, she could move those low hung balls somewhere else as I keep bashing my head on them. HUMPH! At least she has stopped putting those horrible mealworms out. I ate three the other day out of curiosity and had such a bad stomach, I thought I'd never stop sh***ing! I reckon I must have lost half my body weight behind the shed.

Mind you, I suppose I am quite lovely really, don't you think, with my new svelte figure? No wonder she gazes out admiringly at me! No starling or blue tit can hold a candle to me....hmmm unless it's actually a big flame and I'm being roasted on a spit... Eeeeek! What a horrible thought!

Track? Let's have a bit of ZZ Top to go with me! - Smart Dressed Man