Fragments

Modern archaeology. Piece that lot together.

At lunchtime we - Strider and I - went over the bridge to collect the pink plastic tree that I had bought from Ivy's, the closing-down coffee shop. Whilst we were outside waiting for Kirstie, the owner, to come back and open up the now derelict premises, a police car pulled up about three hundred metres down the road with its blues but no twos in evidence. I thought nothing of it at the time.

A barrel shaped man came up and peered in the window of the defunct Ivy's.

"Is Kirsty no there?" he said.
"She's on her way" I said. "We've come to collect the pink plastic tree".
"Och I'd hoped to say goodbye, d'ye know how long she'll be"?
"No" I said. "Do you want me to give her a message?"
"Aye tell her Jimmie said goodbye. Little Scottish Jimmie. She'll know who you mean."
"Whereabouts in Scotland are you from?" says Strider,
"Paisley" says Jimmie "d'ye know where that is?"
"No".
"It's near Glasgae., I came here thirty six years ago for six months and didnae go back. But I'm still a Scotsman. I'm no a Surrey man like you. You're all bloody tories. I'll bet you're a tory through and through."
Strider laughed. "Been nice knowing you" he said.
"I am not a bloody tory" I said, In fact I'm a paid up member of the Labour Party."
"Are ya? Good man. My auntie Jean was a Labour Councillor. Anyway tell Kirstie that wee Jimmie from Scotland said goodbye and good luck".
"I will" I said.

We carried on waiting. A young couple crossed the road carrying a big bunch of flowers and a large card with "Kirstie" written on it.

"Is the shop closed?" asked the woman.
"Yes" I said "but Kirstie is just on her way. We've come to collect the pink plastic tree". 
"Oh" said the woman. "Will she be long?"
"I hope not".
At this point a moped rider sans moped went running past, his helmet on his head and his arms flailing. He was pursued by an overweight policeman. The pair of them ran down the middle of the road and across the roundabout then headed into the direction of the town centre.
"My money is on the guy with the helmet" I said.
"Oh dear" said the woman in a very Surrey way that Jimmie would have disapproved of.

At this point an even more overweight Surrey policeman ran past puffing and huffing, way behind the other two. 

Kirstie turned up.

"I've come for the pink plastic tree" I said. "Oh and Jimmie from Scotland says goodbye".

"Yes I just bumped into him" she said. 

Strider and I grabbed the tree which was in two parts. We walked off leaving Kirstie hugging the couple with the flowers and the card. At the police car a rather weary looking woman was leaning on the bonnet and talking into a police radio, muttering something about 'officers in pursuit'. An abandoned moped was in front of her.

We carried the tree home and put it in the conservatory but it was much too big. That evening I showed it to TSM.

"I hate it" she said,

"It is a bit tacky" I admitted. "But they were selling up and I wanted to help". I got one of TSM's famous raised eyebrows. 

"I'll give it to the cricket club" I said. "It'll fit nicely in the bar" ...