Monday

This is Becca.

She's a fairly new acquaintance of Florence.

If it had not been for Becca, Florence would have died.

She came round last evening and carefully and calmly gave me a step by step account of exactly what happened on Thursday night.

I'm in London, staying with my rock, Jess, at Florence's flat.

The number of messages is overwhelming. I can hardly keep up but Jess has been managing it all for me.

Two incredible, remarkable young women.

Clive is in Devizes. We decided it best as critical care will only allow one person to visit. (Though they have been very accommodating) He is completely rattled. I think his brain had been replaced with scrambled eggs. I don't think I could cope if he were here too. He can't seem to form any sequence in his head. Timelines, directions, instructions, stress management; he's just not functioning. So I've left him at home in the care of Tessa and Simon and Matt and Jo.

I'm supposed to be in Wales today for the funeral of my dad's little sister. I really wanted to go for my cousins.

I feel like I'm rambling now.

Florence had another brain scan Sunday evening. Ruby, who has just finished a degree in Radiology, says that's standard practice 3 or 4 days after an event like this. And no one has called me so I guess all was well.

Florence constantly mentions Becca and starts weeping.

Jess and I passed a plant shop in Camberwell so bought something beautiful for Becca. She has saved my life too. How would I have continued?

Thank you to those who have reached me via other means. 

When the suicide happened, I turned off comments. I couldn't have coped with them if they were on now.

I have met some incredible human beings these last few days. 

The Royal London is vast and we could not find Florence on Friday afternoon. I kept being told she was in Newham hospital and she had been for a while but I knew her surgery had been in Royal London but the computer said she wasn't there.

No one had updated the computer system. There are flaws with the NHS but the people staffing these places are gifts from God and of the 100s that have crossed my path, only two have been white British and I'm bloody scared that this country seems obsessed with immigration. Where would we be without these wonderful people?