1088 day of war

Hello, friends!

Real frosts have arrived, and with each passing day, it’s getting colder outside. We try to go out less and warm ourselves with hot tea. Heating tariffs are very high now, so we’re trying to save as much as we can. February is always extremely cold here, but fortunately, this weather will last only a couple of weeks, and by March, it will start warming up—so we just need to hold on a little longer.

The latest events in the country and the world, along with the cold weather, are taking a heavy toll on morale. These last few days feel incredibly difficult—it feels like I just want to fall asleep for a few years and not see any of this.
Trump’s conversation with Putin was deeply upsetting for everyone in the country. It was expected that he would first speak with Zelenskyy to take Ukraine’s interests into account, but things turned out differently. However, I believe this conversation shattered any remaining illusions that there could be an end to the constant shelling or the start of some peaceful resolution. Even during these talks, drones and missiles were once again launched at us, while Putin simply rejected all peace proposals and stated that even during negotiations, the attacks and offensives would continue.

The past few years feel like an endless nightmare with no way out. I had some hope that this could truly end or transition into a diplomatic process, but it seems like this is a war to the end, and the one who holds out longer will win.
Essentially, Putin has broken out of international isolation—everyone is circling around him, trying to find an approach, while he just wants to continue fighting. In this conversation, I didn’t hear a single word condemning the aggression, no mention of punishment for these actions, and no real security guarantees for us.
I don’t know where the confidence that Putin wants peace even comes from, or why people keep saying it, because all the facts point to the opposite. Yesterday, one of the drones struck the sarcophagus at the Chornobyl Nuclear Power Plant. I have no more words for this—it’s just an absolutely insane level of madness.

In the media, we hear rather optimistic statements. They say that the Russians are exhausted and need a pause in combat, that they are sending people with crutches into assaults, and that ammunition is being transported on donkeys. But we are also exhausted, and there are plenty of problems within our own country and army. So, I don’t know how to feel about all this—I don’t have much trust in these words.

I am trying to come to terms with the thought that instead of thinking about when we can return home, I should think about where to go next. I feel less and less confident that we will be able to survive here in the future, and what to do next remains a huge question.
Without real security guarantees, there will be no peaceful life here. Without reparations from Russia, those of us who lost our homes will remain homeless. Without the return of the occupied territories, the country won’t be able to generate enough income to provide any assistance to those affected. It seems like a vicious cycle with no way out for us, and that saddens me deeply.

I try to find something good in everything, and in this situation, I think it’s good that Trump is at least trying to do something. Not all of his actions are clear, and not all of them lead to positive results, but he is doing something, and that’s already something. I still hope that we have a chance to survive and continue to exist.

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