Nursery Guilt

Audrey had her longest day at nursery yet today. They called to say she was asleep at lunchtime so I left her there. Have now made a decision to keep her in for two full days a week from now on as she is definitely settling into it (although she still cries when I leave and pick her up).

It was the strangest feeling for me today though. I had seven hours without her stretching ahead of me at one stage and as I generally work from home (especially when the weather is as bad as it was today), the house felt very eery without her.

I got lots done and was really productive though. I even managed to catch up on Corrie on my lunchbreak and (guiltily) read a chapter of my book with a cuppa. Guilt was a theme for the day though. I was constantly trying to justify to myself why it was OK to have put her in nursery. Why it was good for her. Why it was good for me. As well as doing arithmetic about whether or not we could really afford it (only just).

This new nursery routine will mark a change in our lives with Audrey. I am hoping to be less tired and more motivated about my business again.

Yet I am already pining for those blissful maternity days that have passed (and no that doesn't mean I want another baby). There was just something so idyllic about that first year with her and now it's over. Sigh....

Today's blip is our family picture montage on the wall in her nursery room. Apparently she points at it all the time and says "Dada, dada". Ouch, there's that guilt again....