Pick of the crop

Today's the day .......................... to know your onions

A letter arrived here recently from South Lakeland District Council (Allotments Division) complaining that our plot had been inspected - and had been found wanting. It was too untidy - and if no improvement had been made in a month's time (when the next inspection would take place) the consequences would be dire.

Can you imagine the sort of fury that this letter generated amongst the inhabitants of this house? I mean - how dare they? Who were they anyway? And what sort of people had the gall to go creeping about, judging the worth of an allotment by whether it was tidy or not?

Whoever he/she/they are, they clearly don't know their onions ......................