The Ogre vs. the Nymph

In my short walk in our back woods, I came upon an argument. Well...maybe not an argument...but certainly a heated discussion.

It was between Olaf...the scary ogre, and Nancy...the garden nymph.

They were arguing about who had it the worst...who had it the worst in this wild winter. Nancy (ladies first) fired the first salvo.

NANCY: "I'm supposed to have a pretty floral wreath on my head...but...but...MY HEAD IS COVERED WITH SNOW! It's such an undignified look."

OLAF: "At least you can see! Until 2 minutes ago when that camera guy wiped off my face...I'd been blind for 10 days!!"

NANCY: "That's tough...I know...but look at my skirt. IT'S MADE OF FEATHERS! WHO MAKES A SKIRT OUT OF FEATHERS? It does nothing to keep me warm."

OLAF: "Well...boo-hoo-hoo. AT LEAST YOU'RE COVERED! Look at my stomach. Those aren't washboard abs! THAT'S MY BELLY SHIVERING!!!"

Nancy: "Look at my mouth. Not so much in the winter...but do you know how many little critters crawl in there in the summer? IT'S WIDE OPEN...AND I CAN'T SPIT THEM OUT! Let me tell you one more thing...WHEN THOSE LADYBUGS GET IN THERE...THEY ARE NOT LADIES!!!"

Olaf: "OK, I'll give you that. But...at least you have a mouth. Why didn't that camera guy free up my mouth, too? You probably won't believe this...BUT I HATE TO YELL!"

Nancy had nothing else to fuel the fire...but Olaf had one more.

OLAF: "I hate to be so forward Nancy...but look at my crotch. I've got snow right up to my man parts. DO YOU KNOW WHAT COLD DOES TO THE MAN PARTS NANCY? DO YA? DO YA?"

I hate to be so bold here...but...argument over. Olaf wins. With that last statement...he has it the toughest.