Envy

This is Lewis' gold fish Blake. Goodness knows we are gluttons for punishment, going against all odds that this fish will be different, that this fish will live. He made a nice model for my blip today. After watching him repeatedly swim in circles at the corner of his tank, I really believe that Blake thinks his reflection is that of another fish. It reminded me of Aesop's fable about the dog and his bone.

Elizabeth O'Connor once said that Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has. I'm not sure if a fish has the capacity for envy, but perhaps Blake wears a coat of gilded mail fashioned out of self respect, which cannot be pierced by others.

Self-respect is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has a price. A lesson my five-year-old continues to learn over and over again in her quest to compete with her older brother for just about everything. Blake's reflection keeps him busy all day long just as I could be caught up questioning my own value as a stay at home mom. It is not often I do this, by the way; Envy is a waste of time. Perhaps it is only natural to compare one's self, one's children, and one's life to others that seem more successful in some way. My conclusions always have me circling back to Elizabeth's wisdom and I'm not only content, but grateful for everything in my life. Even for yet another chance to keep this fish alive.