EARTHLINGS! WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO INVADE!

SPEAKING THROUGH AN INTERPLANETARY TRANSLATOR

Today's 'bird' was a rather appealing specimen we did think about taking back to our planet but cleaning plop off my spaceship is not my idea of a fun activity.

See Lucky LARGE!

Having watched for 90 of your earth time segments (minutes?), we have decided that we will not invade.

Mine and my comrades' minds have been destroyed forever.

Europe is only 6.8% of the total land mass of Planet Earth. We have given up our plans of takeover, having seen this horror - Eurovision Song Contest. It will be worse elsewhere......

Creatures with wings - which end is which? Known as 'birds', they emit waste from one end! Humans emit waste from both ends!

Track? There are better planets - Life On Mars