Messy eater?

What do you mean I'm a messy eater? I'm in a hurry here! These magnificent mealworms are only available for a short time while stocks last. I'm getting in quickly before they all go. As to why I am chucking them all over the place, I'm just being sociable and making it easier for little pals down there. A blue tit fell in here the other day and it took three of us ages to pull him out. He kept fighting us off but we didn't give up. Poor sod! Up to his neck in worms he was, and quite drunk on them too. The fumes are terrible when they get wet!

Anyway, we hauled him out and Heseltine - we call him Heseltine as one of the pigeons shat on his head by mistake and he can't get the white bits out yet - jumped on his throat until he'd coughed up the last of those worms. Yum! You see, we are good hearted like that. Well, as soon as the worms went out today, I thought I'll get straight in here before the squirrel. He is such a greedy pig and what's worse is that he doesn't even like mealworms! Like a dog in the manger, he'll jump up here and stand in our dinner while he reaches up to the fat balls. Horrible thing! He'll eat his fill of suet and then sit down, have a scratch and then use a mealworm to clean his ears with afterwards. Oooo and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's hot worms as they tend to be a bit warm when he's been farting over them for half an hour. I'm sure he's left hairs here too.

That woman in the house needs to put a sign out saying 'No pigeons or squirrels allowed on the feeders!' but I'm not even sure those tree rats and flying rats can read. Savages the lot of them! Nothing like us beautiful starlings!

Track? Lets have something tasteful written especially for me by Don McClean - Starling Starling Night (Vincent)