August challenge; style over substance?

Here’s the scene; the roast is resting. The family (Anniemay, two of the children and ma-in-law) are also resting - sat at the dining table watching me in expectation. There is much frivolity on their part and an element of puzzlement on mine.

The yorkshire puddings are not very … well … Yorkshire. Yorkshire is big, bold - not shy in coming forward. These puddings, which share its name, are quite the opposite. Shy and reluctant to rise up out of the batter.

I make apologies for my cooking and serve up. While we eat, I put Anniemay’s crumble in the oven to cook. Anniemay makes an amazing crumble; apples from the garden, blackberries from the canal-side bushes and a topping made of butter, sugar, oats, seeds, butter, flaked almonds, sugar and a bit more butter.

Half an hour later I return to the oven in a state of delicious anticipation. The crumble is cold. There is a pulse, but it’s touch and go whether it’ll survive the night.

Anniemay, up to this point, has been amusing herself by playing with her table mat and giving herself the giggles. Her good humour evaporates along with the wine in her glass.

I fiddle with the oven controls and the grill comes on; before long the crumble topping is taking on a blackish hue. The base though, is barely warm. I fiddle again and the oven jumps into action. Another half hour and the crumble limps onto the table. The oven, having done its best, retires to its housing in shame.

I’m puzzled sometimes by the names that manufacturers give to their products; hostages to fortune? This, once stylish oven, is, as you can see, labeled ‘competence’. It means the ability to do a job properly. Hmm…

I’m also curious about the design life of modern appliances. I read recently that the design life of an electric kettle is just 18 months. The oven has functioned for 10 years. One part has been replaced. Is that good? Is that competent? Compared with a kettle or our dishwasher I guess it is.

The dishwasher does not have a name - it is merely known by a series of letters and numbers. Perhaps that’s its problem.

A couple of days ago, just shy of its third birthday, it stopped working. This is the third time, with the same fault. I called the company and they declined to come out again and repair it; fortunately it came with a five year warranty and a ‘new for old’ deal, so we get a cheque to the value of the original price.

Their view is quite simple; they’ve already spent more than the cost of the original product on repairs. They don’t want to continue doing that, so they calculate it’s cheaper to give us a new one. But we really shouldn’t have to replace it yet should we?

The oven is long since out of warranty and so it is now we who have to do the calculations. To repair or not to repair, that is the question.

Whether ’tis nobler to cut our losses and spring for a new one
thereby ensuring perfect crumble -
or fit a new element/control (or whatever it might turn out to be)
and risk future Calamity.