Baby steps

So many of you who read my blip will know what running means to me. It's not simply exercise; it's something that gives me space away from my usual over-active brain, reduces stress and ultimately makes me happy. There's no feeling in the world, and I really mean that quite literally, that can make me feel as contented and relaxed as a long run. I'm not sure you can ever really understand it unless you've truly fallen in love with running yourself.

These past six months have been particularly difficult for me. It's hard to articulate, but it feels as though I've lost a piece of what makes me, me. So I made today into a wee beacon of hope - I had my specialist biomechanical appointment to try and fix me this morning.

When I got to the hospital, I was told that due to some administrative mix up, my appointment had been cancelled. The podiatrist also informed me that I shouldn't have been referred so quickly as I haven't tried the initial temporary inserts yet (which I picked up this afternoon). Apparently I am supposed to try these out for a month before being referred to the specialist. The last podiatrist informed me that I was being referred so quickly because the temporary inserts weren't going to do the job. The podiatrist today was trying to send me away, to fob me off for another month.

So I broke down. Floods of tears. I just couldn't take it any more.

Ok so to put it in context, I also had some unrelated bad news yesterday and *may* have been a tad emotional anyway. But it turns out that this is exactly what was needed. To placate sobbing Susan, the podiatrist decided to go ahead and do the full biomechanical assessment anyway today.

She discovered that actually that first podiatrist was quite right. The temporary inserts aren't going to work for me - she admitted that he was right to refer me straight away. Without them I'm simply damaging my feet on a daily basis just by walking. She wouldn't have found this out without my emotional outburst. So maybe sometimes it's right to challenge people.

The upshot is that they squeezed me in today and took plaster casts of my feet. Here are the molds once my feet had been wriggled out of them. My customised inserts will be ready in a month and then once I have new trainers (mine will no longer be suitable) I'll be *hopefully* able to take advantage of my favourite winter training time. I'll get that cold crisp winter long run that I'm pining for. And I'll be able to feel complete again.

In the meantime, to get my feet used to the inserts, I have to wear my temporary ones in the house, then walking, and then I am allowed to do short runs in them. I'm to gradually build up to it.

Albeit short distances, I'll be running by next week. This makes me happier than I can possibly ever manage to express.