Tough day

I dropped J into the next village first thing today to pick up his car after he got rather drunk following a funeral they'd both attended yesterday. It was good to have both lodgers back in the house yesterday evening. I was feeling rather low and it cheered me up so I made them dinner and we all caught up on news.

I was nervous about work today and saw my HR lady first thing. I didn't find her particularly helpful which is quite unlike her (which has left me wondering if there is something she's not telling me) and I was not best pleased to find that any leave I have had that was not agreed as unpaid or signed off by the GP has been allocated as holiday. It seems my firm do not do compassionate leave. I was saddened and quite disgusted to find this is the case and will be asking them about this when I'm feeling stronger.

A few things had crept out of the woodwork in my absence but none of them too terrible. One I could have done without but it won't be the end of the world I don't think.

Three of my colleagues have done a sterling job of looking after things for me and I expressed my sincere gratitude. I took it slowly, running through post and emails (most of which had been dealt with for me) and keeping my head down. I felt very much 'on the edge' emotionally for most of the morning and that is not a good feeling but I kept it together. I found myself staring into space a couple of times and turned down a request to deal with a complaint about a colleague, saying I was not up to it, which I most certainly wasn't. I did find out that my assistant is moving to another office at the end of the month and that is somewhat of a relief I must say.

I left at lunchtime as per usual for a Tuesday and was so pleased to leave, I can't say. I felt very emotional on my way home and then did nothing all afternoon but watch films on telly, finishing with my favourite 'A Good Year' which is my 'go to' comfort film.

I'm meeting another colleague who I have never met before and who helped out while I was away in a different office tomorrow morning.