This photo is intentionally blurred

It's pretty easy to emulate the effect of peering through a half-closed eye. Can't do the streaming with tears in a photo. You'll have to supply your own pain. Try rubbing your eyeball with a cocktail stick or maybe just put a couple of grains of grit under your lower lid and blink a few times. So, that's my day. How's yours been?

No idea when I woke up - 4, 5? It started like a bit of that crusty stuff you get near your tear duct but by 7 it was stabbing - the cocktail stick - so we got up and I tried washing it out. Nothing. Got the kids ready, dropped Ewan at a friends to play and then go to school and headed up to the hospital's minor injuries unit.

Luckily I don't yet have to wait until my GP commissions that service on my behalf - I can just walk in and get seen quickly, efficiently and very pleasantly. So I did. Turns out I've scratched my cornea. In my sleep! How does that happen? I think I'll just sit in a dark room for the rest of the day and hope that I'm OK for my portraiture thingy at Stills tomorrow.

Great to see that Andy Coulson has had to resign from No.10. Nice to see them unravelling so early.