TJB

A Jarvis keeps his emotions in check, not least because overt aggression or depression can result in a refusal to be served in a bar. Sometimes, however, a particularly affecting episode can bring a tear to a Jarvis's eye. Such was the case when I made my way to Gauja, a Total Jarvis Bar (TJB) in Riga, Latvia, and found it closed, stripped of its retro communist decor, with shopfitters inside. The permanent closure of a TJB is akin to the passing of a great musician, writer, comedian or filmmaker. So the apparent demise of Gauja was every bit as distressing as the recent passing of Don Van Vliet, aka Captain Beefheart, or that of the great American comedian George Carlin (that's his "sortabiography" in shot). Unlike maverick genius musicians and comedians, though, TJBs can actually return from the dead. There was much rejoicing in Jarvisland when, on a visit to a nearby restaurant, I felt compelled to see what atrocities had been perpetrated on Gauja's premises in the name of "renovation" - a word that induces shudders in a Jarvis when applied to a TJB. However, instead of a shoe shop or tattoo parlour in embryonic form, what I saw was Gauja's old paintings restored to their place on the wall, beer taps back in their rightful positions and the regular barmaid refilling the liquor cabinet. It had merely been a paint job, not a TJB demolition job. Top result!