The Wife

It sometimes feels like this is my wife. Not the Cathedral, obviously. That's in the shot because I think it's a great view. No my wife is the stand labelled The Stacey West.

I've told the story before, but this is the first time I've shown you the actual stand. Just to the left of the goal there is an advertising hoarding for N Power. I rested my little chin on an old granite wall that stood there and watched Lincoln win the GMVC title. I was 9 when we lifted the trophy in front of 9,000 fans in 1988, and I always stood in that same position.

Now you will find me on the extreme left, just to the right of the LCFC flag about six rows up. I still have my Dad on my left hand side just as I had 23 years ago. I was at the ground tonight being Poacher at a kids christmas party which was cancelled back in December due to the bad weather. It's always a tough gig at the kids parties, the batter seven shades of shit out of me. Tonight I was whacked with (in weight order): a balloon, chicken nuggets, a glass, punches and kicks and two full size guitars normally used for guitar hero. Oh and a Wii controller. The only way I could retaliate was to keep walking away and waiting until the manic throng of five years olds spotted me and came to get me. several even launched themselves at me and bounced off. I felt like a giant having people just bouncing off him and attacking him while he looked dazed and confused. Couple that with only being able to see directly ahead and you have a very unpleasant half hour for me.

I love it though, bless them vicious little would be ASBO kids. The smile on their faces as they drive the shaft of a guitar between my legs believing Poacher The Imp to be genderless is priceless.

As a point I am not genderless and as such I recieved several blows to sensitive areas that have left me feeling a touch morose.

So what else is new? Well I'm entranced by Emmerdale as we speak, which does make me question my intellect. I don't claim to be a philosopher but I do hope I'm above reading the Sun and watching soaps.

Been to Boston today to drop paperwork off at a college. Another thrilling chapter in my memoirs. The most amusing thing to occur was me getting lost on a really rough estate next to the docks. That's it. Not my best anecdote.

I'm off to watch Emmerdale.