....get your chilli ready.....

After a full 5 lesson day I made my way down to the Food Tech room to help prepare food for our Russian visitors next week. Jo was there ready to go..."That's yours," she said, pointing me at a bay. "Wash your hands, get an apron on and start".

Yes Master, whatever you say Master!

I surveyed my set out ingredients:
16 cans of chopped tomatoes
12 tins of red kidney beans
4 heads of celery
1 kilo of mushrooms
18 peppers
1 bag of dried chillis
2 courgettes
3 bulbs of garlic
2 tubes of tomato puree
5 kilos of minced steak
1 large tub of chilli powder
12 onions
1 litre olive oil

I surveyed my utensils
2 chopping boards
2 wooden spoons
4 frying pans
2 large pans
1 food processor
2 very sharp knives

"Right!" said Jo "You need to make a vegetable chilli and a huge meat chilli, I've done you a recipe, off you go!"

Ok, step one get rid of the food processor, step two find two ladles and 2 slotted spoons, step 3 sling the recipe in the bin. I don't need no stinking recipe to make chilli....I'm famous for it!

Peel and chop the onions, peel and chop the garlic...into the frying pans, spot of oil.....heat on.

De-seed and chop the peppers into strips...in with the onions and garlic.

Split the meat into two....into the large pans...heat on.

Brown the meat.

Find two more large pans, split the browned meat into four.

Divide three of the onion, garlic and peppers between the four pans.

Chop the mushrooms....add to the four large pans and the frying pan.

Fag break with hebs!

Back to work.

Look up and realise there's two females making lasagne between them and two female making enchilladas between them.....and me working on my own!!!!!!!!!

Chop up the courgettes....add to the frying pan....add two tins of kidney beans, two tins of tomatoes ....chop up one head of celery....add to the frying pan.....chilli powder to taste....set to simmer. Veggie chilli done, leave to cook slowly.

Chop up the rest of the celery....add to the four large pans. Open all the remaining cans of beans and drain them, open all the remaining cans of tomatoes......add to the four large pans.

Open the two tubes of tomato puree....add to all the pans.

To two of the pans add some chopped up dried chillis and some chilli powder....to the other two just the chilli powder.

Get Jo (a veggie) to sample the vegetable chilli....it's fine, the end is nigh!

Another fag break with hebs.

Coffee!!!!!!

Back to work, stirring the chillis, get Lisa to taste the "mild" chilli, she pronounces it good but a bit hot....better not let her try the hot one then!

Cooking finished, divide the chilli into large catering trays as in the photograph...label them ..... 1 veggie, two mild, 1 medium and two hot!

Wash up....4 frying pans, 5 large pans, 2 slotted spoons, 2 wooden spoons, 2 ladles, two knives, 2 chopping boards, a glass bowl....hang on ...where the f**k did that come from...and 5 large pans? I only used 4. hebs and Lisa are slipping some of their washing up into my area, the cheeky buggers!

6 trays of chilli into the freezer.

"K, put the kettle on, 4 teas, one with sugar and have a coffee yourself if you like" says Jo! Bloody hell!

Make the brews, wipe down all the work surfaces and one more fag break.

Time to go home. Look at my watch.....it's 7.10....4 hours and 10 minutes cooking....I hope those Russians appreciate it.


Home by 7.30. "How was it?" asked the Boss, I gave her a quick run down, "Great", she said, "what are you making for dinner?"

I think she was taking the pee!

Das vidanya moy padruga!