Confidence

I'm reading David McCourt's book at the moment. I'm enjoying bits of it - to the extent that I've already given a copy to a friend of mine - but, to a large extent, I think the book is useless. Don't get me wrong, reading about his extraordinary career is very interesting but the book is flawed because it's central conceit is that it is supposed to communicate how you can be successful like him. Each chapter concludes with wisdom such as "never be afraid to speak up if you want something" and "never complain about anything, just fix the problem yourself".

McCourt is certainly an amazing character and I'm sure that all of the lessons and advice that he seeks to pass on are both the result of his own experience and genuinely well intentioned. The underlying problem that runs through all his lessons is that not many of us are like Frank McCourt.

And if there was one attribute that he has in spades that so many people lack to one degree or another, it is self-confidence. One of his recommendations is that you should "never be afraid to introduce yourself if you want to meet someone". 

All of my children have every reason to be self-confident and yet it's not a quality that is equally or fairly distributed. It pains me to think of Abi going into a local shop to enquire about a job only to turn around and walk out. For forty-fives minutes she walked Kirkby Lonsdale about in tears and, on her third attempt, she finally spoke to the owner. (And how brave is that?!)

Today, I had lunch in the garden at Avanti with Dan and the Minx. Milly is staying with me over the summer and putting in some shifts at the bar, where she's worked, on and off, for years now. She's so happy and confident, dealing with the customers, keeping things running smoothly, it's hard to remember just how anxious she was before her first shift.

Here she is today, chatting away to a customer, just before coming over to see us. 

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Reading: David McCourt's 'Total Rethink'