As I am (2)

I blipped an SP a couple of weeks ago a few days after the op. as much as it pained me, I did not adjust or refine the image at all and I thought I looked better than I did pre op. I did.

I decided to do the same this evening...unadjusted...and I realise that I have improved so much more than I thought.

It's little things I am noticing, like my fingernails growing, my hair growing and not falling out in chunks. My skin is improving, although I am suffering from little outbreaks of spots. Worse than when I was a teenager, but I guess that will settle.

I have been caught out by doors - twice in two days. Yesterday at the hospital, the door to the family room turned out to be a fire door and I tried to open it. I quickly released as soon as I realised, but I had pulled by that point and paid for it immediately. Couldn't believe it when we went to the dentist today and the door to the downstairs surgery, which looked like a standard door, turned out to be a heavy fire door WITH A CLOSURE MECHANISM on it...that fought me. Honestly, do not take for granted the simple things you do every day. Like opening doors or walking to the shops. Painkillers tonight, again. Boo.

Anyway, I have decided to take advantage of my time by pampering myself every day. By the time I am allowed to participate in normal day to day things again, I intend to have flawless skin, be well moisturised, my stretch marks and scars faded and generally to feel good about myself. I am also going to teach myself to accept who I am, how I look and to accept that my imperfections are not the great big issues I think they are. Time for an attitude shift.

Nana is still very poorly. For reasons that I do not understand, or maybe dont accept, they have not done the lumbar puncture today. I didn't go to the hospital this evening, but mum, her brother and his wife (my aunty) and another uncle and aunt went. Every time the phone rings, I hold my breath. I hate to think of her like this. But she is Made from strong Liverpool stuff...so she keeps fighting!