Blue Monday definitely exists…

I am absolutely mentally and physically shattered.

Today is “Blue Monday” and with the exception of my telephone GP appointment, which was very helpful and sorting out another two appointments for later in the week, today has been nothing short of exhausting hell.

I only got three and a half hours of broken sleep last night, with lots of tossing and turning. I got up at 6am as I was in agony with my fibromyalgia. I made coffee and sat in utter misery. I put on my electric heat pad and sat like a zombie with my coffee. Mood - fecked off does not even cover it. Sleep deprivation is real and I hate it…

I was so exhausted, I decided that I would ring the district nurses office to ask if they could come out tomorrow instead. The nurse that came out on Friday morning had left me the kit (see main Blip and one of the extras). I thought, I am just too sore and exhausted and I will ring them up and they will understand.

Rang at 8.50am - you can imagine my mood after being awake since 5.30am and sitting up like a zombie from 6am, wishing I could sleep a little longer. I made the request for the nurse to come tomorrow and was told that they had no plans to come out to me either today or any other today this week. I had the rather cynically (clearly realistically) thought that the kit left on Friday was generous and wondered if they wouldn’t show today.

I was clearly right. I hate being right. It can be so bloody depressing. I feel so crabbit. I am very grateful for all they have done for me and had no outside appointments today but what if I had and had waited in all day? It was very cold here today which no doubt added to my fibro agony.

I had my GP appointment this morning too - that went better and after my consultation, felt a bit less anxious and fed up. She told me she had every faith in my ability to dress my wound and she knows me very well so when I said to her, “I would rather do it myself as at least I know it will get done!” she laughed. She knows I am independent. The nurse that came out on Friday could have told me and feel that they fobbed me off a bit.

Anyway, due to fibro pain, some life stress and the booking of an appointment later in the week, it took me until 10.30pm to find the energy to change my dressing. I have done a pretty good job of it if I say so myself! It took about twenty minutes due to my fibro pain and it hurt like hell as it always does but took a couple of paracetamol.

I look and feel like shit quite frankly - see my extras! On the upside, after consulting my GP, I have booked in for bloods, to be weighed, to have my blood pressure checked and to my have my wound dressed by the practice nurse at the surgery. It’s going to be challenging but I am going to have to push on through somehow.

Not looking forward to the bloods or the blood pressure being taken - they can never get blood out of me easily for some reason, it hurts my arm and the blood pressure reading process hurts my arm and I am sure produces a false reading due to my anxiety at the discomfort it causes.

In other news, a friend dropped off some bird seed for me and I have texted a lot of friends today to catch up. I’m brain dead now so I had better get to my bed. 

I haven’t managed Duolingo today which I’m sorry about but I guess it will just have to be a streak freeze day.

I hope my foot heals quickly. It’s just adding another level of exhaustion to my life. Hopefully the practice nurse can shed more light on the healing process and timescales involved.

I’m incredibly grateful for Blip. I will tell you tomorrow about my phone call to the chronic pain physio - that’s a whole Blip in itself and beyond belief.

Thanks for all the comments, stars and hearts. I really need to catch up on sprinkling comments, stars and hearts tomorrow :) xx