It's not what you think....

I've always loved seeing Gallusboy's photos of the Bullers of Buchan and as we were in the area, I determined to snap a puffin of my own.

Leaving Doris in the carpark, Mrs Doris and I ascended the west face of the cliffs, passing various long-lensed photographers dressed in climbing gear and sturdy shoes, all of whom looked appalled at my flipflops and tiny camera.

One chap, dressed like Captain Scott seeking the Antarctic, stopped to chat. 'Looking for shags, are we?' he asked. I drew myself up to my full 5'4. 'No we certainty are not,' I replied, 'we're on a huff puntin!' He walked away quite quickly after that.

Sadly, we didn't see any puffins, but I got rather excited at one point and informed Mrs Doris I'd spotted a penguin! She didn't actually call me an idiot out loud, but kept muttering razorbill at me all afternoon.

Today, I shall mostly be reading the Buffoon's Book of British Birds......