Spot the (Cannon) Ball.

Today was one of those days, which from the outset, was a constant flow chart with random Yes/No decisions every few minutes. I used to love doing these with the schoolkids on the computers (and got some clever and hilarious results) and I wonder if I'd gone with the Yes away back at the beginning what my day would have been like.

I'd decided to start my exercise regime, since I'm not swimming. I got up and got ready, set up the iPad with a suitable programme to distract me from the anticipated pain, and then remembered that my earbud was not right. The glueing of an alien bud had not worked.

Exercise/No exercise? None - go through to Apple in Glasgow. Bus/train? Check prices decide on train, thus saving about an hour of my life. No, daft idea. Check online forums. One reply suggested buying a cheap pair and just using those buds. Good idea, but would they fit?

Decide to go to a place with plenty of earphones (and cameras). PC World. But the loud racket booming out from the local radio station (ie not just screechy muzak, but yelly DJ in between) drove me out with only a cursory glance at their wares.

Back into town and popped into Curry's, where I found a helpful and sympathetic assistant. He suggested I buy new ones. At £79 I suggested this was a silly idea. He then suggested some cheaper ones which have the play/fast forward function. £12.45. Sold! Though they don't have a volume control. I am listening to my new Noah and the Whale album as we speak.

When I came out with my purchase, I spotted a cake stall in the market with some huge fruit scones the size of dinner plates and rushed to them. The name, 'Italian Market' should have given me a clue. They were not scones, but olive bread. I told the young man I'd buy one if he'd let me take his photo. He agreed. Well, he didn't disagree. Money handed over, then he kept scooting around and wouldn't pose. Last time I trust an Italian man!

The one o'clock gun went off. I checked my watch. I was two minutes slow. NO! It was an hour and two minutes slow! Another explosion. Then another. Then another. Then another. This was no time check! There were 20 of them in all. Perhaps it's something to do with Mrs Windsor's time on the throne?

An old man was going along yelling, 'AH HEAR YE!'

JR has asked that I start the process of applying for her state pension, by getting the appropriate forms. The nightmare of finally prising my dues out of them is still raw. Wish me luck.

If you go big you can see bits flying around in the smoke. I do hope it wasn't the seagull I saw flying by just as the cannon was shot.