When's it due??

So I was standing in the queue at Merrie England today, when the man in front of me accidentally nudged me in the stomach with his elbow. He apologised and I graciously accepted. Then he started muttering something about kicking. My brain was slowly processing what he had said, when he went on to tell me how, when his wife was expecting their daughter, the baby would kick all night and leave his wife feeling black and blue. He hoped I wouldn't be cursing him for setting the baby off.

The full horror of what he was saying then hit home.

OMG as the young people would say.

I then had a very British dilemma. My instinct was to stop slouching and hold my tummy in. But then I thought he might realise his mistake and be embarrassed, so perhaps I should grab the small of my back and push my tummy out even more. That set the giggles off (more like hysterical laughing), and by the time I got to the table with our coffees I was crying with laughing and could hardly relay the story to Maxine.

She said I should be flattered he thought I was young enough. I said he was probably telling his wife to look over at the middle aged woman up the duff!

So there are 2 upshots of this. First, the lovely new Fat Face smock I was wearing is in the charity shop bag. Secondly, the self help books have been retrieved, dusted off and now need to be acted upon without delay.

But before that I need some chocolate for the trauma I have suffered.