.....Darn Sowf....part 1.......

This is our bedroom in our Wiltshire hotel.......kind of Medieval chamber meets 90's porn movie.......yes that is a black leather bed...in a beamed room!

We drove to Manchester Piccadilly to meet the ancients off the train.....and instantly began with a crisis....the Boss' Dad had a gash on the back of his hand....caused by forcing open an electrically closed door between compartments that snapped back on his hand. Fortunately the station concourse had a Sainsbury's and so sticking plaster were purchased and a quick repair job done.

Once they and their luggage were loaded into the car we set off on the drive to Wiltshire....M6-M5-M4....then A and B roads to Christian Malford. After about an hour and a half a break was needed.......the B's Dad decided he needed an M&S sandwich and tea....Jean, rapidly approaching 90 opted for a Bacon Double Cheeseburger and coffee. Have you seen the price of Motorway Services food these days? £15 for three burgers, £3 for the sarnie and £12 for three coffees and a tea.

Suitably refuelled we set off again...oh how we smiled as we sailed south while the North bound lane was at a standstill.....a three car prang had caused a tail back about 8 miles long with the road totally closed.

Another stop was required...mainly for a change of driver and a fag....but Jean decided that what she really needed was a Magnum....no not the gun.....the B's Dad wasn't that bad.....the huge chocolate coated ice cream lolly!

Once the ice cream had been eaten....well mostly eaten...a fair bit went down the Dad in law's shirt and my upholstery....we set off again and reached our hotel around 5.10.......a five hour trip...but we had taken two stops, which probably lasted about 1 1/2 hours.

We checked in.....gazed at amazement at our room....the ancients room was much more conventional....and then headed off to see our hosts for the visit....Nigel and Clair....Jean's daughter and son in law. They live in the most amazing cottage! Well have you ever seen a room with a real, genuine well in the middle of it!?

After meeting, chatting and a drink we set off to the village pub for a really excellent meal...........not sure how or why but Nigel and I got stuck with splitting the bill.....the Landlord decided to try out his traditional Southern wit by patronising me after he had forgotten to add some drinks to the bill and had been obliged to come and ask me what I had ordered....as we left I was the last one out and he made some comment about it being a rarity to meet an honest Northerner.....he got a short sharp lesson in Northern wit in return!

Back at the hotel another surprise awaited us......the bed was not only black leather it was a memory foam mattress!....it must have been suffering froma touch of dementia though because it didn't seem to remember my sleeping position very well and I spent a pretty restless night avoiding being ejected from the bed.

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of Darn Sowf.

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